What does your family do that you won't?

I find myself asking this question more and more lately. Two incidents have brought it up again:

1. My 10-year-old niece was caught signing her mother's name to a failing paper sent home by the teacher.

2. My 6-year-old niece and nephew (adopted, not twins) were kicked out of swimming lessons because they misbehaved and stirred up the whole class. Kicked out. Not just asked to sit by the side of the pool or leave for the day. Kicked out. Permanently.

Here's that question again: What have my brother and sister done to raise their children that I will not do? How will I do things differently?

So far my answers include, but are not limited to:
1. Limit TV time. There will be a TV in my house, but it will not be on all the time, nor will it be the video babysitter. We will not have cable. I said as much to my sister, and her statement was, "But I like my music." Buy an ipod. Get Sirius. Then, get serious!

2. My children will not get everything they ask for. Heck, they might even have to -- get this -- WORK a little bit before getting it. I have never seen so many children with so much. All 7 of my nieces and nephews have everything they want. They ask. They receive. I wish my life was so easy!

3. I will not question my husband in front of my children. Both sets of parents do this -- talk about damaging to their children. Then the kids think THEY can question their parents or that one parent has more control than the other. If we don't present a united front and act as a team, raising the children together is pointless. We may as well live in different houses in different states and share the children by the week.

4. My children will know that their father is the most important person in my life. I have seen this with my siblings, and more recently a close friend. As soon as children came along, their partner became second fiddle. I'm sorry, but I always knew that my mother was #1 to my father. I felt loved. I felt safe. But I was not the most important person in my parents' lives. The universe did not revolve around me. I grew up to be a normal, well adjusted human being. My children will, too.

In some ways, I hate it that I have to watch my brother and sister raise their children, but in other ways, it is good for me. Zach and I can really decide what we want to do and try it out. Learn from the mistakes of those who have gone before us.

And, in case you're wondering, I DO have baby fever! Just a few more months and several more pounds, and we can begin thinking about it!