I'm not really sure how the time flies, but my how it does! Bella is 7 months old! I can hardly believe it. She has four teeth now: two more recently appeared on the top... enough to give Aunt M quite a big bite during our December visit. She is sitting up very well now and can push herself up into a sitting position from lying on the floor. She's still working on the whole crawling thing, but she creeps and rolls around well enough to get where she wants to go. Just this week she's discovered how to pull herself up onto the side of the couch or your bended knees from a sitting position. She's also begun eating meat. Big changes!
The past few weeks have been very insightful for me. I recently attended a tribute/reunion with many of my high school friends. I was apprehensive about the whole evening... I loved high school. It was an excellent experience, but to see these folks 12 years later, well, I wasn't exactly sure how I would fare. My dearest friend cut himself off from me shortly after I graduated, and I'm still not sure exactly what happened. Many of the folks I spent 4 years with continued their friendships, but I broke away. Not sure why, just did.
In any event, here I am, 12 years later -- very happily married, successful career, new mommy, generally happy with life -- and I'm stepping back into my past. Was it strange? Yes. Was it daunting? Yes. Did 3 glasses of wine help? Most definitely. After seeing my most favorite teacher and saying hello to some old friends, I began to realize something: It doesn't matter. I'm in a good place. These people are so ancient history, it's not even funny. Would I get answers to all of my questions? No. Did I care? Surprisingly, no. I walked away realizing a few things.
The first: Fundamentally, people never change. You may find a new career, "grow up," and take on a different path, but you never really change. Who you are on the inside is inherently YOU. Nothing can change that.
The second: I really don't care what they think about me. I don't really care what anyone thinks about me. Sure, it's important for Z, M, K, and the rest of my family to love me, but I'm a pretty cool person, and I don't really give a shit if someone thinks that about me or not.
Third: I have known some pretty amazing people. Some are very successful. Others are just living their lives day to day. The mentors and teachers I had in high school are some of the most phenomenal people I've ever known. I am lucky to have had them in my life, even if it was only for a brief moment of time 12 years ago.
Fourth: Wine makes everything better.
So, what is the life lesson here? Love yourself. As you are. No holds barred. Openly. Fully. Own it. You're worth it.
12 years later, I've married the man of my dreams. I have a beautiful child. I have a new BFF and new friends. I have a job I love AND that I'm really good at. That's me. And it feels great.
The past few weeks have been very insightful for me. I recently attended a tribute/reunion with many of my high school friends. I was apprehensive about the whole evening... I loved high school. It was an excellent experience, but to see these folks 12 years later, well, I wasn't exactly sure how I would fare. My dearest friend cut himself off from me shortly after I graduated, and I'm still not sure exactly what happened. Many of the folks I spent 4 years with continued their friendships, but I broke away. Not sure why, just did.
In any event, here I am, 12 years later -- very happily married, successful career, new mommy, generally happy with life -- and I'm stepping back into my past. Was it strange? Yes. Was it daunting? Yes. Did 3 glasses of wine help? Most definitely. After seeing my most favorite teacher and saying hello to some old friends, I began to realize something: It doesn't matter. I'm in a good place. These people are so ancient history, it's not even funny. Would I get answers to all of my questions? No. Did I care? Surprisingly, no. I walked away realizing a few things.
The first: Fundamentally, people never change. You may find a new career, "grow up," and take on a different path, but you never really change. Who you are on the inside is inherently YOU. Nothing can change that.
The second: I really don't care what they think about me. I don't really care what anyone thinks about me. Sure, it's important for Z, M, K, and the rest of my family to love me, but I'm a pretty cool person, and I don't really give a shit if someone thinks that about me or not.
Third: I have known some pretty amazing people. Some are very successful. Others are just living their lives day to day. The mentors and teachers I had in high school are some of the most phenomenal people I've ever known. I am lucky to have had them in my life, even if it was only for a brief moment of time 12 years ago.
Fourth: Wine makes everything better.
So, what is the life lesson here? Love yourself. As you are. No holds barred. Openly. Fully. Own it. You're worth it.
12 years later, I've married the man of my dreams. I have a beautiful child. I have a new BFF and new friends. I have a job I love AND that I'm really good at. That's me. And it feels great.
